This perennial philosophy/fashion idea represented as a modern logo called "torn apart lover" , is just a reminder of an ancient, evolutionary-evolved concept.

A master once said, "In order to enter heaven (spiritual existence or earthly mindset), one has to become like a child again". 

This means when your young, your loving, trusting, and open. Afterwards, you find out what life's really all about and become closed and jaded-which is a state many stay in until death. So after realizing the truth of this sick, twisted, filthy, disgusting joke of a world, you become torn-apart because you know you still have to be thankful, appreciative, and grateful of everything just because your alive. The point in life is to get back to your young, original state of being by reaching out, staying open, and loving once again.

"Gossip is the devil's playground"-Google

"Simple minds talk about other people, mediocre minds talk about events, and great minds talk about ideas"-Elenore Roosevelt

"There is no such thing as a race war, class war, etc..the only war that ever was, and ever will be, is a character war". Riyad A. Masri

Chapter 5. Reformation of the church. 

Now this part is really for the thousands of hateful, real-life followers I have. And I'm saying all this in a monotone voice because my tone has no anger in it. But demons have hate. Your demons with hate in your heart following me. You're possessed by your own demons. Do you demonic followers ever think about anything? And simply because you have hate, your stupid, not to mention not knowing someones past and still judging them makeing you even stupider. Do any of my stupid, hateful, demonic, followers ever think? With all your actions towards me, you guys are no different than a gang, the exact same thing as any terrorist. No different than the christian crusaders centuries ago. I mean people ask me "why?" all the time. Why what? What's your question? Why have all the great ones been persecuted in the past? Why are they persecuting me thinking they're guiding the way home for an avatar? Well, my best answer to those questions can be summed up in a track by Tiesto. It repeats the same sentance like 50 times and goes, "some people are really f'ing stupid." That’s my best answer to everybody’s wierd one word question. And I get it. The only bad things your doing is playing with yourselves, which is actually the worst thing a person can do but that’s neither here nor there, but all you do is that, cheat on your taxes, and mostly lie. You view these wrongdoings as minor and think your better than everyone without understanding the reasoning of equality regardless of, "kinds" of sins, as I explained already. Then because you guinuely want good for the world and want to make it better, you start doing whatever you can without thinking, like killings in the name of religion or whatever other crazy thing you guys think seems right at the time, including following me. You don't realize you need, not only what’s right and good, but you need what’s wrong and bad as well, just to have balance so the world continues to go round. It's like everythings good the way it is but all the stupid hater minions thinking they're the righteous elitists end up doing more harm than good. And the killing of me with all the stuff you're doing is no different. It’s just a slow death, and because you've been killing me slowely, it's debatable as to which death is worse, mine or Jesus's even though I shouldn't be comparing my death to someone that was a monk and a mystic. But I’m not sure who I’m more disappointed in. The stupid guys who blindly follow others like all of Hitlers followers, or possibly the stupidest of them all, Hitler. I mean who's stupider? Because the stupid ones will always follow the stupidest of them all. That’s just how it is for reasons im not getting into now. And the same thing is happening in this city. Monkey hear, monkey do. What's worse? The two simpleton robots who started all this with their misinterpretation at the phone store in Seattle, or all the manipulatees in this city following me now. All I know is this is a crazy world and I’m getting really sick of it because everybody's brainwashed. None of the girls want me but you guys are the ones they should be watching out for.

I deserve an apology from the thousands of you that had hate in your heart because your all slow torturous murderers worsening the world. I deserve an apology but I don't want to hear a word from any of you. You create imbalance by stopping someone who not only actually has big ideas, but has big ideas for a greater balance raising the bar. So even though your intentions are good, your off with your thoughtless actions, hence, the unnecessary innocent lives being tortured and killed in the past with all these different stupid vigilante groups; and you guys part of the church following me are no different than any hater type of group. And yea, even though most vigilantes are worthless making the world worse, I still have to high-five them just because they understand if you want real change, you have to go gorilla. They understand the tricky idea of having to be bad to do good without delving deeper. The problem is they're execution is extremely thoughtless and poor. These vigilantes don't discernely philosophise the bigger-picture and therefore make quick rash decesions which do more damage. These vigilante groups always get veered from their intended path because the ideas get too complicated for a regular lay man to handel. The ideas start getting mixed up and convuluted while original intents fall apart or take side paths which end up doing more harm than good because theres no true thinking philosopher to set everything straight. So what you all are doing to one man that has choice potential is despicable. Do you know who I am? I am the one. And you all think your keeping me in check putting cameras facing the back and front doors of where I stay so you can waste your time, gas, and energy following my every move outdoors every second of every day. You think your trying to help your dog when in actuality, this is where you get exposed and the light shines on your stupidity and hatefull demonic ways since my patience is running thin and it’s taking me too long to accomplish the things I need to accomplish with everybody trying to make my life difficult.

And to all the guys in different states listening to this, if I came there, you know if you'd be like one of these guys hating on me, spitting on me, cursing at me, looking for me in the showers at the gym. By the way, did the 50 or so people at the gym enjoy taking turns flushing the toilet while I was taking a shower? More importantly, did you enjoy looking at my A S blank when I made sure to show it to you while you left the shower/bathroom area? Idiots sneezing on me from your cars and saying all kinds of insults, cutting off every bus I ride at least 2 or 3 times, parking next to me or flying past every time I take a piss in an alley. I mean I practice walking meditation and you guys are shooting your guns, pointing it at me, blowing up my phone wasting my minutes, harassing me and yelling out all kinds of obscenities across the street from your cars. Threatening my life almost every single day and all I do is relax giving good vibes. 

Is there really a need in blowing your muffflers and engines in my face trying to mess up my vibe every 2 minutes when all I’m doing is cloud gazing? It’s ok though. I already know the higher the sound of the exhaust or engine, the lower the IQ. So I’m not sorry I call you simpleton robots because I have to stick up for myself when your hating on me. Over the past year and a half, I've gotten easily over a thousand negative toxic comments from all you narcissists and maybe a dozen positive ones. Yet the irony is you think I’m the narcissist. This has easily been the worst case of bullying in the history of humankind. And it’s not just me cause I leave the house and you guys start putting everyone elses life in danger doing drive bys down my street 40 miles an hour with schools and parks 2 blocks away and kids everywhere. I realized that was happening in march when I first got back here and you guys still can’t figure out I don't care. I just recently started flicking your cars driving by like the dirty flys you are just because this following has already been going on for too long and I knew I was going to be setting everyone straight soon with this video. I mean is wasting your day in the neighborhood like this really that much fun? The real question is, what are you really doing with yourselves? This crap is going nowhere. Nowhere but down for everyone. Go read a book or something. And yes, I feel the stare and I feel your thoughts from far away, but I let it go real fast as I’m an adept meditator. Imagine sitting in church deep in prayer and your kid is nagging at you. Obviously you wouldn't want that disruption but that’s exactly what’s happening to me every single day while I try to be a monk. 

I mean it wasn't like this in any other city I've travelled to, not even where this nonsense started. You guys here just followed orders and listened to a couple kids on the west coast without thinking about what your actually doing. I mean I've known for many years that when your homeless, they watch you, and when your homeless and pass out a business card like I pass out, they really watch you, not to mention I put a flower in my beard and so everyone in the pacific northwest like portland knows part of my past and started gossiping to people in seattle making assumptions and not leaving me alone trying to test me while ruining the vibe in almost every situation while not likeing the fact I was silent and not teaching more while passing out my card but living on the streets. Well, thats what happens when you give away all your stuff, unconditional love blossoms and everyone including homeless people become your family. So if I have no material possessions, of course im going to be hanging out with people on the streets gaining a broader perspective with more experiance. I actually went into seattle as a hard core liberal but one of my favorite cities made me much more conservative to the point where im pretty balanced now. 

Anyway, after more gossiping, they checking my record assuming what I was going through 15 years ago thinking I had aids was the same thing I was going through last year. And you guys here are doing the same exact thing only making it bigger. The west coast played their games testing me and riding my back for 8 or 9 months not liking my show of reverence and solidarity. They wanted me to be in a community. They wanted me to talk. They wanted me to teach more than what’s on the card. I mean everywhere I go, nobody wants to just let me be. 

So I became sick of it just like I’m getting sick of it here after a year and finally decided to teach you idiots with a you tube video. And I dont care if you understand anything im saying here or not. I tell you how it is and my job is done. I dont care if you believe anything im saying here or not.  But I told myself I’ll wait out this following for a year but I know you losers will never quit unless I explain every little detail of my life. So now it's time for all you kiddie adults to move on to the next grade. Speaking of which, our whole education system is designed to let the kids stay innocent for as long as possible. Thats why nobody learns anything for 15 years except for math and reading. It's a necessary dumbing down so to speak. So I figured I take the same approach and just let a bunch of dumb demons continue to hate on me for a year or so. Me releiving some stress these minions would have given to others if it werent for me is the least I could do. 

It's like everyone wants to see if I'm the real deal with all their baby tests just because I pass out a card. Nobody wants to just leave me be. Everyone wants to mess with my energy and make all the situations I'm in all awkward trying to figure me out, and the same crap is happening here. Well, I told you already, I’m not the real deal. Monks and nuns are. It says it on the card. I mean im saying it differently on the card but indirectly, one of the things that means is, I don't want followers. I’m just like you and all I've ever wanted since passing out the card was to be left alone. "Minus monks..were all just genious justifiers"..so im trying to be a monk in a non-monk world. It's simple.  

And although I’m an extrovert, I’m an extremely private person and I do my best work internally-as does everyone-because it's all withen us. I just want to pass out my card part time without any kind of followers and do what I've been wanting to do for years but wherever I go, everyone tries to play games and mess with me. So I decided to get everyone back hoping people would back off. I played a little game of my own by going to smoke with a girl knowing you guys would assume the worst without knowing I learned my lesson with sex a long time ago. So I knew everyone might go crazy if I went to a private place with a girl that told me everyone knows her, which I knew meant she was a sex worker. So I guess yeah, in a way, I escalated the situation. But you all created the situation by playing games making your girls continually come around me trying to seduce me to see who I really am. So my game playing back made everyone wonder as I was sick of the famousness and attention from passion out a card.

And still, I have to be like a little kid here because they're right when they say it, but you guys started it, just being on my back with all kinds of crazy games and tests you guys were giving me instead of just leaving me alone, so I figured id have some fun and do my own test or game and mess with some hateful followers who did a background check and listened to the guys in portland where everyone thought who I was many years ago was the same person I was last year. I mean I've changed many times throughout all those years and who I was then only impacted me to become stronger and more aware now. And I knew my game was going to challenge people and hopefully make them realize I don't want followers. I mean they obviously didn't realize I didn't want followers by passing out my card for only a few weeks while having a job for a year and a half there but hey, were talking about super simpletons here. So I was sick of everyone riding my back all day long ruining how I naturally connect with the rest of the world and decided to ride their back too. 

I mean there’s nothing else I can give any of you except the card, so stop bothering me and let me live my life the way I want. I can’t even talk to girls I see at the bus stop around here because when I do see an occasional girl I like, there’s always some dumb-demon revving his engine and exhaust like crazy just 50 yards away. You guys seriously need to get lost and go deal with your psychological mental problems because you're all sick with your pathetic asinine operations. If I could do everything all over again, I wouldn't change a thing with my past even if the whole dummied out world hated me. I already know I’m a hundred times cooler than all of you put together and a hundred times smarter than all of you put together. Even the creatives/generally smarter ones became brainwashed with everything. But I like to think they're probablly just kissing A S blank. instead of really being as stupid as my followers. The only 2 things I've learned throughout this whole experience is that MAYBE I shouldn't have played the game back. Maybe, I shouldn’t have tried to make everyone wonder what I’m doing with the girl they sent me, but they started the games and the bothering in the first place. But I probably should've been the better man and not reciprocated even though no one should be concerned with what I do unless it’s hurting them anyway. 

So all in all, I could've taken the higher route without the additional game playing even though they started it. And then the second thing I learned was, you can’t be your real self. You can’t just be. You have to watch out for and think about how others are going to misinterpret your words and actions. You can’t be transparent. But I will never do that and I already know some fat judgmental fool listening to this is going to take something the wrong way and not understand what I’m trying to get at. I mean do you know why they broke into my car and started following me in the first place. It wasn't because they thought I might have misbehaved. It was because they jumped to conclusions like you guys are here. It was because after taking a shower at the closest gym to downtown, I walked across the street to the phone store and ask a customer if he can help me fix my phone, he gives me ten dollars and I thank him with my business card because I used to like to qualify people I give my card to.  Now I just want everyone to see it, but that’s the time where everything changed because two dumb demons in a white truck and a white SUV started spreading rumors lying and saying I was coning their city out of money to spend it on prostitutes since they all hang out withen a couple blocks from my gym. Then everyone started assuming even more, developed hate in their heart without knowing anything, put a GPS on my car and started this whole following thing telling everyone I need help. Sorry I wasn't good at saving money before getting fired and asked for help fixing my phone where all the prostitutes are. Sorry. And most people there backed off and started to realize I’m not looking for followers after smoking with their girl ambiguously. And I've never liked putting people in boxes and so to me, she was just one of my sisters who I got high with. I mean I used to have a soft spot for girls on the street. Actually, anyone homeless, the girls are just more vulnerable with sex crimes even though it’s still a choice they make because there’s always help for anyone who wants it. The military, insane asylums, jails, monasteries, or shelters will take away your freedoms completely but at the end of the day, you'll come out clean. 

The reason why no one goes through a program is because they didn’t have a proper childhood, and that means they have every single right to choose to be homeless and do whatever they f'ing want, just to make up for their mistreated and abnormal childhood. If someone doesn't have a proper childhood, they're childhood comes later when they’re an adult. So there’s no need to put your judgements upon them. They need to experience their childhood when they're grown adults like I already said. So stop judging and shooting people in alleys thinking your cleaning up the city. But getting back to the point, I shouldn’t have to think about things like, how are the robots going to interpret what I do and say. I don't have the same mind as a piss-on-petty demon that hates and follows. I've got big things on my mind I’m trying to actualize and I need to be left alone. I didn't think asking for help at a phone store with half naked girls walking around would be a problem because I know I don't have a problem when it comes to girls, but two fools made it a problem by assuming I’m taking from the people and spending the money in quote on quote “wrong ways.” What I’m trying to say is you can’t be free to just be yourself without having to think about every stupid little thing some dummy might think. 

It's like I have to be fake so people don't take me the wrong way; but, that will never happen and I will always be real. So now I just close myself off completely because who knows, I might say, hmmm, the color red, and all of a sudden someone might go crazy just like this whole city is. So now I just keep to myself. I don't talk to anyone. And don't mistake my exposing for venting and think I’m trying to get everything off my chest here. Every city had its own unique ways of spreading different types of creative hate which was kind of fun to experience but still not worth it at the end of the day. Even with comments that weren't insults like, 'we don't want to talk about it'. Well to that I say 2 things, first, I’ve heard many kids talking about it because they don’t have the shame you have, and second, then stop talking about me and talk about the ideas on the card like you should be. Anyway, two simpleton minions started this whole thing but there weren't many more hateful followers, which means most of them realized there’s something else going on here like a bigger picture we can’t see and it would be wrong, unethical, a waste of time, and will ultimately cause hate to spread if everybody started following him. And people here are just starting to figure that one out now. 

I don't like saying it because I’m from here, but it’s worse in this city than any other city they've followed me in. I mean except for a few, the nicest, smartest, and most creative were in Seattle, which I’ll always go back to even though there's more abuse there than anywhere in the country. But as I travelled south, the negative energy started becoming bigger and bigger and in sacramento, those guys tried scaring me by sounding off dozens and dozens of various gun shots while revving all kinds of engines all at the same time for at least a half hour. And it was all within a hundred yards from where I was sleeping in the van. I actually appreciated and loved it for what it was. I even tried walking over to where they were but couldn't tell which way the sounds were coming from. It was easily the best symphony I've ever heard. Period. Anyway, I don't call the police even though all kinds of illegal activity is happening: tapping my home phone, breaking into the router and everything else. 

Now when I found out people were actually following me to the degree of a gps on my car, it felt invasive and I was thrown off because I didn't know why someone would be doing it in the first place. In other words, at the time, I didn't realize the misconception they had with me at the phone shop. So when I realized the GPS was planted in my car and people were following me, a thought came to me that maybe this would be a good opportunity to reform the church because the guys that started this dumbfounded operation were from the church, I just didnt know which church and so I sent a letter to all of them trying to summarize everything im saying here so everybody can stop and finally just leave me alone. A part of me thought maybe I should let these guys keep on following me even though I knew they were clearly being hateful dumb demons. Plus, I wanted to expose them and show everybody how senseless they were to think this type of hatred following thing was a good idea. So, I kept the GPS in my car. 

This was something of a new experience for me. It was something different. I was kind of curious since I've already experienced at least a slight version of everything else, so I wrote a mini version of what im saying here defending myself from the 2 guys from church that started all this. I didn't think of doing you tube at the time because I was pissed at finally figuring out the followings been happening just like I felt something was off for months at that point. Then everyone gets mad I write a letter to the church. What? I’m opposed to organized religion/any cult with followers, just like I’m opposed to starting my own cult with followers. So what, I wrote a letter to the church bringing up my sexual history because you guys already made my history and past 100 times more public with the start of the operation stupidely concluding I have a problem. Big deal, letters were sent to churches and I recripocated the problem you church members started. Plus, I wanted more people to see the card and so I figured I let all the commotion continue because it would create controversy and ultimately more awareness with more people seeing the card. After all, 80 percent of all conversation in the world is talk and gossip about other people. 

So, I figured people talking about me and the card would be a start to them talking about bold ideas. But now I'm realizing that’s clearly not happening because Elenore Roosevelt was right when she said,”'simple minds talk about other people, mediocre minds talk about events, and great minds talk about ideas.” So, I thought maybe this would be a good way to teach and get my card out more, all while showing the world how crazy and stupid people can be. You dum demons think you’re doing good in life when really, if your life has been revolving around my life, you just don't want to grow and better yourself. Your stagnant. Instead, you'd rather make someone else’s life difficult and change the balance of the world, because I am the pillar. Actually monks, nuns, and eunuchs like Jesus are, then kidnapees, then me and maybe farmers or something like that. Anyway, to everyone threatening me saying “he's dead”, thank you, because I really am dead and that’s exactly part of the reason as to why I have no fear. So maybe you should die to your ego as well since ego stands for etching God out. Or in your words, it’s time to carry your own cross because all sins were created and distributed equally. Go ask your paster what that means because it involves you being sorry for failing at your own challenges and not worrying about what other people are doing. Anyway, I left the west coast only because my dad got sick. And even when I wanted to take a vacation on memorial day, you all had to follow me on the highway where I ran through a 20 by 20 patch of woods and got lyme disease from a tick bite when everyone thought I had aids. So, to the girl who screamed, “do you have aids” at least 10 times in front of the house, no I don't. But when I finally decided to take a vacation an hour away from all the craziness, you guys once again jump to conclusions and make assumptions. Because I know you all thought I was having all kinds of sex for three weeks. What, you got jealous you weren't having any? I've known my friend in Rockford for many years and thats all she is, a friend. So again, it wasn't what you thought it was, because when I came back, everybody started revving their loud engines again trying to make there presence known all pissed off at nothing but a guy going on vacation. Dummies. Plain dummies. And now the only person thats even somewhat like me doesent even wana talk to me anymore because shes scared you dumb petty-piss-on pedantics might do something to her daughter. You hateful dummied out demons are seriously so stupid trying to ruin my life. What's funny was my guy in Rockford wanted to wipe his dirty greasy hands on your coolest abercrombie simpleton creeper follower from all the churchs in Rockford. And again, I don't care for followers and so I can say whatever I want on here. I don't need to sugar coat anything. I can call you names just like you've all been calling me names cause I wont be worried if no one follows me on here. If I wanted followers, I’d split this video up into 10 videos and start making money. Luskily I don't need the money. And if I still somehow manage to get lots of followers with all the abuse and namecalling im giving you back, then I'll ovbiousely have to start teaching you stupid tools because if I am the monkey, you are the monkey's wrench. If I am the clown, you are the joke. But what’s worse is you simpleton robots are so confident. That's actually the only scary part. But I’m the bad one huh? I’m the bad man right? You guys need to check yourselves immediately. End all asinine operations.  I realized soon after I said to the church you guys could follow me, that it was a mistake and therefore took the GPS off my car, tossed it thinking this bullcrap would end, and what happens after that, you guys put another GPS on my car. And I knew about the GPS before I even came back here but couldn't take it off because my dad was sick and I had to get back here as soon as possible. I mean I’m a believer in people eventually realizing what they need to realize without you having to tell them, so I figured they'd eventually realize something is wrong just like I realized something was wrong after giving the ok for the following and experienced even more hate. So I said it was ok to follow me giving the benefit of the doubt for a demonic dummys cruelty. I was wrong. I said it was okay not thinking clearly because I was thrown off with you guys already actually following me in the first place and not knowing why. And a part of me wanted to use reverse psychology because I really didn't know how else a following dumb hateful demon could possibly be educated. But maybe after this video, they can be. Now I'm thinking a roasting rant can knock some sense into everybody. So a part of me just reacted all pissy by writing the letter. And even though I said you can follow me and then realized it was a mistake because it didn't go the way I thought it would, your still the ones who started all this nonsense and still the ones who put yet another GPS on my car. And somebody better tell me where the GPS is on my car now cause I’m not spending six hundered bucks to take it out only to have another demonic dummy put another one on. I mean I gave the ok for the church to follow me even though a big part of me didn't think they were actually going to really waste their time following me with all this hostility. 

I realized my mistake long ago and you guys are still going crazy years later. It's like I’m driving in my car in the right hand lane when a guy starts beeping at me from behind, swerves around me and cuts me off while he yells and gives me the finger. I mean after something like that happens, I’m still chilling in my car listening to music going 3 miles below the speed limit having a good time and this guy who cuts me off is just ruining his day stressing out for nothing. That’s exactly what’s happening here for the most part. After I took the first GPS off the car and they put another one on, I figured I let this whole thing just drag on hoping you guys would start to learn something since you were so adamant about following and putting tracker after tracker on my car. Now I’m sick of it all again and figured it's time to rearange brains with a video. 

And I guess it seemed like everyone let down slightly right before me taking some time off on vacation, but then once again, you judged too fast and thought I was doing it with who knows who an hour away. I mean why do you guys care so much anyway. Why do you care what someone elses path is? Thats just another reason as to why your all so stupid. These aren't really healthy signs inside you, to hate on someone when you know nothing about them is plain stupid and crazy. Then on top of that, to hate on someone passing out a card like I pass out is just pathetic. It really says a lot about you guys, your mentality, and where you’re at in life. Luckily my incident of abuse in second grade wasn't more traumatic and longer lasting, because then I’d be gay and I’d have all the gay haters hating me without understanding why I became gay in the first place or how it wasn't my fault I was abused. I mean there’s never a place for hate. It’s actually one of the only two bad words in the English dictionary. If any of you guys threw hate my way and aren't part of a church, you should either visit a church or a psychologist to reexamine yourselves. Or go and do what Mark Twain said and travel so the narrow-mindedness leaves you. 

So, yeah, I was wrong when I said you guys can follow me but I didn't say you could do any of the other atrocious things you've done to slowly kill me. But by killing me, your only hurting yourself and the progress of the world because this world needs people like me. Not only that, it needs people like me much more so than it needs people like you common non-sensical dum dorks. Most of the world is filled with dumb demons like you guys and you see where the world is. It's headed downward in all aspects because of bunches of bafoons. People like me are hundereds and huIndereds of times rarer. And you have no clue as to what that even begins to mean. I mean all that energy you guys expended and took from me could have gone to much better use. Jesus and many other true masters were falsely killed because of people just like my followers. People like you guys, and I mean the dumbest of the dumb, have always been the ones that have started the war.  Why can't all you killers understand what we're trying to teach? And maybe it’s the teacher’s fault because if the students doesn't understand, then it’s up to the teacher to think of a different way to say and communicate deep ideas and concepts. That’s why I’m repeating some of the same ideas but saying them in different ways here. I mean the same thing is happening to me now as with Jesus in the past as history repeats itself. Jesus knew all about the dumb demon bots and what was going to happen to him, but he didn't run because he didn't care. He truely accepted the fact that all the petty pedantics around him would kill him. He couldve ran but he chose not to. Same thing with the Buddah. He knew the food given to him by a stranger was poisened but still ate it. And you all are doing the exact same thing to me. The same concepts are being applied to me with the dumbest of the dumbest in this city. I know what's happening to me and I don't care either. Actually, I guess I kind of do, otherwise I wouldn't have made this video. But if I release it, then it's like I'm not doing what Jesus or any of the other greats killed by dum demon dorks did. I'm choosing to run instead. And I won't tell anyone to stop what their doing, I'll just tell them what their doing, and from there, they can do whatever they want, even if it's to keep on being so stupid..because that seems to be God's plan. My death by all you petty pedantics is just a lot slower than most other transformers, and I’ve already accepted it knowing I can't access the depth I need to with you all talking smack, following me, and harassing me every single day. Every day I'm tempted several times to either smash someone face or smash someones window, and if I ever end up doing that, it'll all be on camera. And that's not in my nature at all but your demonic actions of hate naturally bring out the hate in others. You dummies are trying to make it a devils playground but I control myself. I am the bigger man. And although it was only a few times I yelled throughout the past year, know showing anger doesen't always mean your angry because I don't get angry. Sometime I have to show anger when the situation arises but that doesent mean im angry. If one of you dum dummied out dorks gets cocky and confident with me, ill show anger even though theres nothing anybody can do or say to make me angry. So I really wasen't mad any of the times you thought I might have been mad. This whole thing is all in your head and your making everything up yourselves. I've never really experianced hate in the past. So even though I never wanted followers and I’m trying to live like a secluded monk in a monastery by making the world my monastery sitting on sidewalks in seclusion, here I am with a bunch of hateful demon possessed followers giving a lecture thats not even going to be listened to all the way through because nobody has patients or concentration. And I've got lots to say even though it’s already all been said on my business card. But it looks like people don't understand any of the hundreds of meanings each poem on the card has, which means I’ll have to explain some things even though I’ll probably forget some stuff since I’m using a stream of consciousness technique where I don't think about what I’m saying but instead let the spirit say what needs to be said. 

By the way, anyone can increase and develop their intuition and tap into universal consciousness. Anybody can grow. Nobody cares to do so though. But hopefully I’ll put some perspective truth in my thousands of stalking moron creeper followers since I've got guys coming up to me on the bus telling me about the apparent war happening in this city. I mean I've known since February I’m being watched every second of every day for the past year. The very first day I was here they started swarming around me circling me like sharks with at least 20 cars. And the fact of the matter is, the stupid hateful demon possessed followers I have are the ones creating the war as I said. You guys are creating the tension in the air around yourselves and around everyone else because no one else wants to hear it. I mean I've got guys telling me to stop spreading hate. But how am I spreading hate sitting on curbs praying and meditating all day long? I’m the most peaceful person in this city and you guys want to do nothing but bother me every second of every day. I mind my own business most of the time because mommy and daddy taught me right. What’s mommy and daddy taught you huh? Clearly it hasn't been to mind your own business. 

I’m in an almost constant state of meditation and you guys drive your cars two feet from me thinking I’m going to be scared to die when I've already died. I’m not scared of any human b i t c blank in this world, I’m only scared of the one who created me. And I keep to myself in communion with God while you guys call me a slut, whore, or ho at least a dozen times a day for almost a year now. It's making me think I should start shopping online again. But this time I'll buy. For life. And if I buy, I'll have to buy using the "in store pick-up" option/"at hotel pick-up option" because I'm not seeing girls I like walking around the city. Maybe the best ones are online. The abused. So innocent they forgot they were abused. The sadely beautiful. Anyway, robots don't think for themselves and can’t realize the damage they're trying to do to someone else. A robot doesn't have a heart. What? You’re mad you cheat on your partner when you’re by yourself and take it out on me. You think you’re making a laughing stock out of me but I promise you, the ones who know about you creeper idiots following me while minding their own business are laughing hysterically at you behind your backs. They're not telling you what I’m saying here because they like to kiss A S blank. I don't kiss A S blank. And don't think now I’m contradicting myself because every situation, every moment has different circumstances and therefore a different conclusion; so, on the surface it may seem like I’m contradicting myself because I said I kiss A S blank, but that’s never the case as no two situations are ever the same. 

So everybody is laughing at someone else and I’m taking all the damage. Now if you've followed me once out of curiosity or boredom, got your lottery ticket at the store I was in because you think I ruined my life or whatever, then think what you want. I have nothing bad to say to you. Though I will say if you asked me to pick the lottery ticket and said we have to split it if I won, your chances of winning would be much higher. But with these guys to where it’s become a habit and an addiction following me, something is truly wrong with you and you need to check yourself. If you've followed me after like the first few months, you seriously need help too. Luckily I have a high threshold because if anyone else would have received the bullying I've received over the past year, they easily would've taken out their anger and frustrations by either killing themselves or shooting up a public place and killing lots of innocent people. And for none of you to realize you were possibly egging someone on to snap and kill a bunch of innocent people is another reason as to why your just plain stupid. Or if you realized that and still went on with your passisive agressive torture, then your worse cause you knew what the outcome could've been and still kept on with the negativity. So either you guys are triple stupid by not realizing that, or you realized that and became quadruple stupid for still trying to negatively push someone past their limits while not thinking of innocent lives that could be lost as a result of your senseless actions and operations thinking your so godly and clean.

 I’m nowhere near the point of killing everyone and never will be, although I don't know how much damage and hate I've already let slip by. I mean my health is deteriorating because of the stress you guys are giving me but it’s better you guys hate me instead of someone else because your hate has to go somewhere and I can take it. So if you guys didn't hate me, that hate would just go to someone else. So I’d rather sacrifice my life with a slow death taking in your animosity and mental abuse for the sake of others. Someone else would have gotten your hate if I wasn't around. And whoever has hate towards me needs to figure out how to deal with that energy and do something about it, like transforming it rather than taking it out on their wives or someone else in the future because I’m not taking all this anymore and I will eventually react in a negative way and all thousands of you dummies will be directly responsible as accomplices just because I'm making you aware of your options and the effects your choices will have. So if I decide to leave tomorrow and start walking on the highway hitchhiking and more dummed out demon dummies start following me in other states, this city and all involved will be sorry and responsible for further abuse, this time done by me, to the innocent. I mean I know your all excited because some big mystic is in your city but you have no idea as to the damage you’re doing to yourselves, me, and everyone else. You probably haven't realized anything I’m saying here until now. And yea this is something different and so the excitement grows while many think it’s just about having fun now, but it’s still wrong because the base of it all started with anger. The roots have hate and it’s effecting not just this city, but the world, in the worst possible way, which I’m not going to even think about getting into here. What’s happening here is for all the wrong reasons, your excited to harm and cause chaos with people who know how to actually think. And your disrupting my focus and concentration to help self-actualize myself and the world. 

I had many plans I wanted to accomplish when I came back, but haven't completed even one project because all the kids keep nagging all day every day. Even at the gym, the only thing I use is the foam roller and these babies who don't understand anything like having their little sword fights and break the foam roller just because I use it. I mean on every level, my life has become tremendously harder to accomplish the things I need to accomplish. But again, my accomplishments are only for you guys and to better the world, so stop spreading hate because your turning everything upside-down. And if you can’t see that, then I’m fine meditating at random park benches and won’t do the things that are supposed to be done. Then everyone will suffer even more. I mean I can go and do what I do anywhere without any of you. Do you know how easy it would be for me to disappear even with all your remote control birds and bugs watching me. I can easily blend in somewhere in a small city but I’m not doing that. And I'm not disappointed at the kids because they're just kids, I'm disappointed at the teachers of the congegration for not getting word out there about basic bullying and jumping to conclusions while not knowing 90 percent of someone’s story. 

I’m frustrated at everyone else for not telling their kids to grow up and stop doing what they're doing, or the wiser ones for not teaching simple things like spreading love. I mean a guy at the gas station indirectly tells me, 'I don't know what you’re doing but it’s not good'. Well, I can and will say the exact same thing. I don't know what you’re doing with this whole following, or what you guys think you’re doing with this whole following, but it’s not good. Nothing good can come out of snooping. And there’s no need to feel sorry for me. I don't need anybodys sympathy or empathy. Stop praying for me. I don’t need your prayers. Pray for the rest of the world and how you yourself need to grow by understanding you shouldnt be focusing your thoughts on me or any other person. I like where I’m at. And I like exactly where I'm at. Just without all the craziness from you guys. I’m fine and calm inside. Stop being loud trying to disturb my soul. 

I can’t get anything done with you guys up my back all day long. Every day when I go out and have a smoke on the porch, instead of hearing children laugh and play, I have to hear at least a couple of negative comments from someone. Or three or four cars revving their mufflers and engines. Or someone just waiting until I come out so they can shoot their gun. It's just like that song by nirvana, "and he likes to shoot his gun, but he don't know what it means". You guys are monsters giving the church and religion a bad name breaking into five phones wasting at least 30 full days of me trying to fix my phone. I’m still having trouble using it because there’s other minor operations within your big operation where my phone is still being broken into, so don’t tell me it’s just the kids harrassing me. Adults have been following me all day long here ever since day one. Professional tech. people getting into my phone. Even the worker at the apple store said I need to fix my history and messed up my phone. No. You need to fix your mind because nothing is wrong with my history you dumb dork. 

I did the best I could given my circumstances thinking I had AIDS years ago. So my history is fine. 

The following is a closed captioning of an unpublished youtube video I did last year. I decided to make it a book because most people wouldn't have the attention span for an hour long video. The tone might sound angry but if you saw the video and heard me, you'd see I'm really not mad at all. That's just how I talk. Even while cursing I'm slightly smiling. It could be slightly more organized, but then my thought process and the originality wouldn't be the same as my thoughts with the video. 

Reformation of the church: an autobiographical lecture on sexual morals and human equality

Chapter 1. The ultimate business card. 

First and foremost, the front and back sides of the business card i pass out, summarizes every major religions main book and encompasses every major religions central point.  It also has life’s quintessential image and it’s the world’s only business card without contact info, and that’s because my business isn't about myself, it’s about a higher power.  The many meanings of each poem, the picture on it worth a thousand words, and all the ideas within the quotes will be subconsciously imbedded in every person’s mind seeing it.  And even though most laugh and throw away the masterthrees, your soul will still benefit by having the most evolved conscientious seeds planted in it just by seeing the card.  So are you able to understand?

Chapter 2. I never wanted followers

.

I mean I’ve passed out my business card all around the world and they would give me the keys to their houses, the keys to their vehicles.  They’d give me their credit cards.  Wherever I go, there'd all of a sudden be a huge party all around me.  I was getting insane invites.  People would give me their business card and tell me if I ever need help, to call them.  They’d ask for more than one business card to give to others.  What I’m trying to say is, I've already been the king many years ago and didn't care for any of it.  I've had all kinds of followers everywhere I've passed out the card.  I just didn't care for that lifestyle and didn't want followers.  Never have.  If I had followers, I wouldn't be able to concentrate on prayer and meditation for the world. It would be easier to slip and fall as the concentration would be more towards your followers and not in stillness and silence with a higher power.  

I didn't like all the attention with a gathering every time I passed out the card.  If I wanted to go the route of having followers, I would have brought my case back into court, expunged my record a long time ago and had more followers than any other mystic, past or present, but I know the ultimate path isn't with followers. Plus, if seekers really wanted to seek, they'd use google or any of the thousands of spiritual books written by teachers of the past and stocked on shelves no one will ever read. And everything I have to say, which can be written on dozens and dozens of books, have already been written by others. In other words, I would just say the same things but differently and more simplified. So I decided to teach the most evolutionary evolved universal truth simply by passing out a card. I figured everyone else can fill in the blanks and details even though lots of people have told me I should teach and do you tube. I just never wanted to because the highest path in life is a lonesome one in isolated solitude, which is what I'm about everywhere I go. Socrates has a quote with the same idea, “a man living alone is either a wild beast or a perfected god". I say the same thing only a little different; "You will never see an enlightened woke bloke because an enlightened woke bloke lives in a dark dessert ditch or a mountain top tip". 

In other words, someone who's woke will never show his face again to this sick twisted filthy world and so you'll never see an enlightened man. It’s impossible to see someone that’s woke. At best, someone who understands but doesn't apply "wokeness", should be in a constant state of throwing up knowing how disgusting this world is. So being alone is as close as anyone can ever get to a higher power. It's a path obviously without followers and that’s the main path I’m striving for sitting at bus stops by myself all day long without friends. I mean what’s a friend going to do for you anyway; yea he'll let you sleep on his couch for a week or two, pick you up when you get a flat tire, lend you a couple hundred bucks; but what else can a friend do? I say friends are like TV, just another thing to pass the time. 

Friends can’t help you when you really need help. If they did, they'd be taking away from themselves, and I already know how much of a selfish f u c blank we all are. So I rely on myself until I meet someone whos like-leveled. I mean I had nothing but friends and followers all throughout grade school, high school, and college and so afterwards, I didn't care for followers. I realized your either a teacher with followers or a doer without followers. And all of us out here in this non-monk world (that is not living in a monestary) are always "teaching" everybody. We all think we know, and when we talk, we're basically teachers for the most part just explaining our perspective of the world. And the doers? They hide themselves from us. Monks and nuns are the only doers in life and they wan't nothing to do with us. So my goals since semi-enlightenment have always been to make the world my monestary. I mean I never wanted to sell my wisdom and personality in exchange for money and followers on YouTube or wherever; but, it’s never about my plan as the plan always changes to the man in the sky's plan; hense, here I am right now with thousands of real life hateful, ignorant, unaware, manuipilulated, creeper sheeps watching me on a moment to moment basis and following me everywhere I go with dozens of insults every single day. And this has been happening ever since I first started passing out my card. Everybody always wants more from me. They want me to do more. They want me to teach what's on my card instead of letting me teach just by passing out my card. People are scared of silense, envy my inner peace and intelligence, or both. They don't like I'm trying to be a monk dissociating myself from them and instead want me to be like the filth they are; that's why they like talking smack. It's based off their own insecurities and they don't like, or can't understand people that do things different. People don't realize they're supposed to see my business card and start checking out what other mystics and teachers have to say. They're supposed to want to grow and better themselves since we're the ones who know it all. Instead everybody's doing the opposite and following me with negativity like a stupid five year old hating on their parents. Crazy world. Like when..

Chapter 3. A sexual autobiography and realizing you'll never know someone’s history,  experiances, or abuses. So accept everyone as they are, not as you want them to be. Respect means to accept. If you judge, you don't accept or respect. 

My second grade substitute teacher took me to the bathroom, made me get naked, put a sock over my C O T and wanted to take me back into class like that. Fast forward 20 years. I thought I got AIDS from a year long girlfriend after finding out she used to be promiscuous from being sexually abused most of her life; so, I went into deep depression thinking I’m going to die soon. I figured there’s no point in starting any more relationships since no chicks going to want to be with me if I'll be dead soon. So because I still naturally craved female companionship, and because I was going to be dead in like ten years and couldn't have a family or a normal relationship, I started gangbanging. I know all about the life. I've been through it all, and there came a point where I still needed someone to tell my sad depressing story too, so I got a sex  thinking my chances with love would be better. I mean no girls going to want to start a relationship with someone whos sick, but maybe a sex-worker would give me a chance and possibly love me not careing I was going to die soon. I also figured the chances of someone loving her aren't as high just because there's a lot of stupid people out there judging her right off the bat just because of her job. So if she's having a hard time finding love, she might settle for me. And I'd settle for her since I knew most girls wouldn't be with someone that has Aids. So to me, that was my only shot at a relationship. But after my first time being with a sex-worker, I absolutely hated myself. I wanted to kill myself. I knew it was wrong for me and it's something I wasen't proud of. But in an imperfect world, just because it was wrong for me doesn't mean it’s wrong for someone else because we're all molded and made differently. Heres a quote from Hemingway. 

"As far as I know, if you do something and it feels wrong, it’s wrong, and if you do something and it doesn't feel wrong, it’s not wrong", but I just naturally felt bad about what I did. And as time went by, I never got tested for AIDS because I was about mind over matter. If a doctor never told me I had AIDS, then I can beat it using the power of my mind. So during the darkest time of my life trying to beat a self diagnosis, I noticed myself doing drugs and looking at sex-workers more and more. It's like a slight habit started to form. I looked on the streets, on the internet. I can say looking sort of became almost an actual habit, but I was okay battling it because it wasn't that bad since the only thing I was doing was looking. And although I can say to this day I've never gotten a girl off the internet, I did fall a few more times with a half dozen different drugs in my system, but I can count the girls I was with on one hand and I learned from my mistakes, unlike Douglas Adams quote that goes, 'We live and we learn, at any rate we live." So, I fell again, got arrested for it, met one of my teachers who taught me knowledge is power, got tested for AIDS as she saw how much emotional and psychological turmoil trying to fight it brought me, and came out HIV negative. So obviously I was happy about that but I was still into drugs. 

The culprit for the next few times I fell was because I put too many bad substances in my body and lost my inhibitions and control. But after that, I knew how to make sure it doesn't happen again because if I’m on three or four drugs, everything fine, anything more and things go haywire. Like doing k, weed, acid, and nitrus is great, but if more crap comes into play, I know the chances of me doing what I don't want to do, will happen again. So I stay away from the drugs I need to stay away from. And even though I can still remember the exact times and places where I was tempted and saw the most beautiful sex-workers, I didn't get them because I knew it was wrong for me as I remembered that bad feeling I had with the first one. In other words, I’m not attached to anything in life. Not even cigarettes.

Anyway, for the past fifteen years or whatever, it’s not like it’s been a battle to not get another girl as I know I’ve got enough self control. Especially because if there’s a hell, and I’m not taking any chances, but if there is a hell or any type of demotion instead of advancement, I know I’ll be there after death if I disobey again. So that right there is enough to exercise self-discipline and self-control withen me. That and knowing I have to be careful with drugs. And I do realize that once someone does something they feel is bad the first time, it becomes easier to do it again if your not careful. It’s like that song by Ace of Base that goes, "The gental voice that talks to you, won’t last forever." Basically, I made sure I kept that idea, the gental voice that said 'this is bad', in the forefront of my mind just to make sure it didn't happen again. 

Then later, like I said, I found out doing all kinds of crazy drugs let me fall again. So, now I’m aware of what I can do and what I can’t do. I know my limits and it’s not like I think I can do whatever I want. I mean a higher powers already forgiven me and the thousands of real life hateful followers I have are all going crazy making a big deal over nothing. I mean I’m making this video just to knock some sense into some dumb demons hating on me. Demons have hate inside them and this whole irrational following is based on hate. So what, I gave a few girls money for some company and did lots of drugs like fifteen years ago because I thought I was going to die. Big f'ing deal. Sometimes I’d meet a chick that likes me but sees I’m not into her; so, she might wanna fool around and expect some cash afterwards but that’s when I feel bad cause I know no little girl ever has dreams of making money like that. That’s when I just want to hug her. So I try to make her feel better and ask her if she really thinks what she's doing is wrong while paying her to kiss her A S blank. Now of course, no one would ever do such a thing but the way I looked at it was, she might remember the guy who paid to kiss her behind while asking her tough questions. I mean it's a start for her in possibly remembering some of the original feelings she had when she was younger.  Basically, I felt sorry for them and paying for something everyone else would think is degrading was not only me showing love and respect, but I like to believe I was also a catalyst helping them remember what their first thoughts and feelings about sex were when they were little and more innocent. I figured invoking what she once knew or felt and forgot is the least I could do to help her self esteem and maybe getting her back on track to her forgotful original self because of the blocked out abuse shes received over the years-which I'll get into later. 

So as time went by, I met a few girls I actually liked but also noticed the excuses I started to make for myself. In retrospect, I just wanted to make myself feel better about the times I did fall when I let my guard down with all the stuff I was smoking, snorting, ingesting or whatever. I’ve done tones of drugs to open my mind and broaden my horizons, but my point is, I noticed the same guilt and shame I once had being with a girl wasn't as strong with the ones afterwards. My original feelings and thoughts about shame started to brush away. My mind started to move in with clever excuses. I mean with the second one, I was arrested. And so I should've learned with the first two, but powder and pills were the reason as to why I slipped with the next couple like I already said. And being aware of that makes it even easier to control because there’s no other possible situation where I would fall again.

So after some time, I realized I justified everything in my mind so I wouldn’t feel as bad. And that’s the scariest thing because then it’s like your lying to yourself. That’s when you start to deceive yourself. And the butterfly effect of that self-deception leads to perversion and confusion. So on a surface level, what I was doing didn't seem as bad as it originally did, but deep down inside in the back of my mind, I knew if I kept doing all kinds of drug combos with people, I'd slip and fall again. I mean I became aware of this weird irony of knowing I was falling, but not feeling as bad about it anymore. So I realized I can’t do certain drugs mixed with other drugs since that’s when things go downward. And being keenly aware of all my feelings and thoughts made me not do the wrong drug combos again.

Plus, sex is overrated anyway, especially if you've had a mystical experience and had the feeling of an orgasm come out of every one of your pours simultanously. I mean if I had a problem and cared for sex so much, instead of spending my money on cigarettes, you'd see me at one of two bars every Monday or Tuesday and I guarantee you I’m going home with a girl, every time, without even buying most one drink. That’s how good I was, and am if I decided to do it again, which I probablly won’t because I don't care for that kind of stuff anymore.  I mean getting a girl is super easy when your good looking and cool because when youve got the looks and the talk, every girl is a stripper. And I've gotten my share of strippers bar hopping in the past and throwing this city’s biggest raves. But all you dummies think I pay for vagina when it’s super easy to get at a bar. I mean I didn't even go out on Halloween and that’s easily the best day of the year to get laid, but you dummies following me think I have a problem right? You guys are stupid. Just plain stupid. 

My thing isn't banging randoms anymore. That was like 20 years ago. Now I only want one very specific girl I’ll probably never meet. But me sitting at the bus stop for 30 years thinking of doing bigger things means I need help right? My peacefulness means I need help right? I have enough self-control if I’m not all messed up putting lots of bad things inside my body all at the same time. The only thing I wish I had more self control with, is my eating habits, and because I don't have self-control with that, really means I’m no different and no better than even Jeffery Dahmer not having his own self-control over killing and eating people, or someone else that has no self-control cheating on their taxes, lying, or eating too much sugar. 

We're all equal because we all do bad, regardless of which type of 'badness' it is. We’re all equal because our challenges, or sins, or whatever you want to call them, were specifically given to each and every one of us. When we were born, we were already given certain families, certain environments, certain backgrounds and cultures that formed various future experiences. We each had our own unique childhood that had many aspects, all starting a domino effect leading to our specific sin or challenge we were destined to receive. So, a higher power placing a baby being born within specific circumstances will have specific outcomes leading to specific challenges and sins we were destined to receive in order to overcome. So our specific challenges and sins were given to each and every one of us. None of us chose which challenge we would eventually have later in life. Our sins and challenges were given to us the moment we were born by a pre-detrmined series of circumstances and events domino effecting everything in our lives until our individual vices and challanges were born as a reaction.

Just because one person was given one sin challenge through their upbringing and another person was given another sin challenge through a different upbringing doesn't make anyone better or worse than the next, and that’s just one reason as to why were all equal. We were each molded out of our unique early childhood to receive different strengths and weaknesses. The only reason we all received different kinds of sins or challenges is because the world needs to function with variety. Just like one needs salt to taste sugar and sugar to taste salt, the world needs all kinds of sins/challanges/wrongdoings to make the world, the world. So each and every one of our sins and challenges were given to us by a higher power through our past experiences and early childhood in which we had no control over. The Universe knew certain specific life experiences, families, and unique circumstancece early on in our childhood would have a reaction to eventually form our specific sin or challenge. So in Gods eyes, all sins are created equal.  In Gods eyes, all sins are distributed equally. The challenges and sins we all have were the reaction of many domino effected experiances starting from our birth; so because the sins and challanges were given to us as a product of our own unique past, they're equal. Everything we have was given to us, that's why I can't relate to feelings of pride. We're all simply vessels. Sins, challenges, and vices along with any and all positive traits were already set up and pre-determined at the very beginning of our birth. 

If we were all liars, the world wouldn't exist, if we were all cheaters, the world wouldn't exist, if we were all gluttons, the world wouldn't exist. So in order for the world to be the world, we need all seven deadly sins to continually be playing out. And each and every one of us, unless you're a monk or nun, has degrees of being able to commit all seven deadly sins. Anyway, I’m getting off topic, but what? Everyone thinks I don't care about repercussions and consequences in a possible hell over sex with a girl. You all think I care about a five second orgasm when I've been honing and toning my energy and powers for the past 15 years. Stupid. There’s nothing more I can say. Just plain stupid you all are for following me around everywhere I go thinking your keeping me in check. Billions of different things to be interested in the world and you guys following me are interested in not things or ideas, but the personal life of one out of seven billion different lives. That says it all. Plain and simple, it says your stupid, because then it's like saying your trying to know every second of that persons history-which made them who they are-just so you can judge their capabilities in terms of failures. Ovbiousely no one can know every single one of the trillions of experiances someone has in their life and so its futile and stupid to judge because your only judging based off very limited surfaced based information. You will never know if anyones doing good in Gods eyes, whos the only one who sees the whole past of each of us. You might see two guys holding hands and get mad but maybe that's the best way they could've played their cards. Maybe because of their own abused past, they had the potential to recriprocate that same abuse and pass it down to other kids but chose not to because they knew it was wrong. Instead, they truely believe-at this moment-being gay is right for them and so they chose to have a happy life being gay instead of passing the abuse they received as a kid, onto another kid. So my point is, you can never know someones whole past to see how far they've come along and so it's just plain stupid to judge anyone with hate. I mean I believe everyone is always doing the best they can at all times anyway and so to make any kind of hateful negative conclusions about anything is just stupid. 

And you see the card I pass out, you can’t put two and two together. You dont realize I'm the elder, do you?  I mean even lots of the generally smarter people and creatives have been brainwahsed into the gossip of my life. Plus, no one should be concerned with me or anyone else’s private life because that’s all stuff only a higher power can judge since he's the only one who knows your whole story. That’s why it’s called private, because it's impossible for anyone to know anyones whole story. You don’t know a persons past or the reasons why they might fall and so its impossible to judge anyone when you dont know their whole story. A higher power is the only one who knows a persons whole life and why people might succumb to whatever sinful challenge they've been given. You don't know another persons history. You don't know what any one person has gone through in life; therefore, you have no right to judge them and say what they can or can’t do because they could be on track towards progression and development in many ways, and then you guys come along thinking you know their whole past and mess everybody up even more with a different kind of violence and abuse. Like abortion is defenitally 100 percent wrong at all times and within all circumstances, but what’s more important than that is a womans right to choose. And if she doesn't think or feel it’s wrong, then it’s simply not wrong for her and the only thing pro-lifers can do is have constructive arguments to pass on whatever awareness they might have on the topic. It's the same thing with homosexuals, they can't remember (unless they get help remembering) the hateful abusive trauma they received when they were little because it was so traumatic-even if that trauma in which they had no control over, produced their perversion and imperfection. Yet the dumb self-described "elitists" continue the cyclical use of a different kind of hate and put the lbgtq community down for a natural reaction to a devestated past they had no control over. In a perfect world, we would all be straight. But everyone knows this world isin't perfect with all types of abuse everywhere and so it should be expected for people to naturally deviate from a more original state of being with their individually varied abuse. And then a bunch of other types of hateful abusers come along and continue to cycle a different type of hateful abuse by not letting people live their life adding violence and making things more and more difficult for everyone. Everyone just needs to grow up and stop the hate and accept everyone and everything like it is. Be grateful and thankful you weren't abused. And if you were abused, be grateful and thankful for your new gay you, unless you maybe slightly remember your past and are going back and forth having a conflicting push and pull with weather your prediciment is original or non-original, then you might want to overcome your challange with professional help. Or if you don't remember the abuse and lets say being gay seems okay and normal, then it one hundered percent is right and normal for you.  But if you think being gay is part of the original way, then you've simply been tramautized, probablly too young to remember too, or just needed to block those memories from your past because it was too much for you, emotionally speaking. And because you've had such a tramatic experiance in your life, you absolutely get to do whatever you want now, that includes being gay. And yea, it's possible to remember your past and go through the pain until you realize thats the only reason most gay people became gay in the first place (a very select few might have been born that way but only a select few). But knowing the real reason as to why ninety nine percent of the gay population are gay, isn't even in most peoples heads because they've already pushed the unimaginable pain and experiance away in order to completely forgot how and where they've become unoriginal and imperfect-which we all are. The point is, nobody should be bullied because they're path was simply given to them in order to go through what they need to go through just like your path was simply given to you in order to go through what you need to go through-which is partly to learn your hateful violence is only adding fuel to the fire and in no way benficial for humanity. 

Anyway, like I was saying before because I’m not trying to go off on another thread here, after the second or third time being with a sex-worker, I started to lose the same kind of guilt and shame I got from it the first time. In other words, the feelings I originally had about it being bad started to fade away. I started to forget about what told me clearly, 'this isn't right', 'this is wrong'. What I mean is, I noticed I started to rationalize my wrong doings by using my mind and being intelligent. I started to say things like, 'well, there’s no difference between me giving a girl money to hang out or me buying drinks for a girl at a bar to hang out'. Or I'd think, 'well, if both parties agree, then how can it be wrong'. Hemingway’s quote I said earlier almost became a justification for me because I started to use my mind rationalizing while forgetting about the first original feelings I once had, but for others, Hemingway’s quote IS their truth. His quote IS their actual reality. I’ll say the quote again because it’s important, 'as far as I know, if you do something and it feels wrong, it’s wrong, and if you do something and it doesn't feel wrong, it’s not wrong'. It’s that simple. 

So I really hope my hateful demon-inspired buffoon goon followers and the rest of the haters really understand that quote because it’s saying we're all molded to be made differently. So to not realize were all molded and made differently, each with a unique history and countless forms of varied abuse, simply makes you ignorant and stupid to judge others molded differently than you. It's like your saying, 'hey, look at them, they had different experiances in life, so lets kill them'. You guys are so unbelievable dumb. You don't know what’s morally wrong for someone else. Only each individual can know that for themselves. Each individual has to remember their past originality for themselves. Your morals, inner workings, and past happenings can only be assessed and determined by yourself. Each one of our morals, inner workings, and past happenings are only for ourselves. Only we know our entire past. Basically you don't know if someone feels bad about what you feel is bad or immoral. You dont know if I felt bad doing what I did many years ago; so you can't judge me with hate. Only I know if I'm crossing any lines withen myself. I mean if someone feels bad about a taboo sex act, then thats between them, their Higher Self, and the specific understandings and connection they have with their past experiances and what made them, them.  And if people don't feel bad about a taboo sex act, then that's between them, their Higher Self, and the specific understandings and connection they have with their past experiances and what made them, them.  Either way, it has nothing to do with you, your Higher Self, or the specific understandings and connection you have with your past experiances and what made you, you.  Yea a Higher Power instilled in all of us the same ideals when each of us were born, but then corrupted humans say and do certain things to you and you don't realize the beach becomes blurry. So if somebody ends up doing things different than you would, it's not a big deal. Realization takes time and everyone needs to look back in their past to really remember what was stolen from their original heart and mind in the form of any possible abuse, including lies. So let people do what they do without harrassment and following people around pretending to be a babysitter. I don't need a dozen different cars escorting me to and from my house every day.  You losers need to get a life.  Leaving people alone is a simple concept thats learned when your a child if you have proper parents who know how to teach and raise a kid the right way.  But my simpleton followers clearly didn't have smart parants to teach them basic life skills like minding their own business, which is why-i now have to do their job and teach. I mean my stupid followers actually think they're making a differance in this world.  Says a lot about mommy and daddy. Just different kinds of abuse running rampant through families. Then the dumb kids abuse others like me with all their passisive agressiveness and the cycle of hate continues to get deeper and deeper.  So now it's time for me to be your mommy and daddy and teach, what’s right for you doesen't mean it's right for someone else on the surface. I say surface because deep down if one really examines, they would see a perfect world would in fact have it to where whats right for you, is in actuality right for someone else as well. But thats only in a perfect world. So what's right for you is only right for everyone else when it’s a perfect world. In other words, you can't judge anyone because this isn't a perfect world and you don't know what they see as right and wrong based on their past abuses and experiances. You don't know one percent of whats underneath the surface in terms of someone else's past experiances. You can only see what's on top and everyone knows not to judge a book by its cover.  So only being able to see others on the surface without knowing ninety nine percent of their past will alwayse show an incomplete perspective because we've all been molded to have different values and surface truths. 

So even though porn dulls the mind and rots the soul, if anyone doesn't feel bad about it, then it’s okay for them and you can’t be a hater just because you feel it’s bad for you. You see the vast variety within the world. What makes you think the one in charge gave 7 billion people different faces but the same viewpoint. We were all given different looks, so wouldn't you think we'd be given different experiances and minds too. You can’t judge others just because they were given different values, experiences, hardships, etc. Every one of us to thinks on completely different terms based on our own unique past. To think we all should think the same is a form of narcissism; or, it's a stupid unrealistic perfectionism ideal. So not everybody thinks like you stupid hateful demons following me. And I say stupid not just for all the reasons I already mentioned, but because you also have hate. Not everybody has the same unevolved hateful demonized lowely evolved perspective as all you dum demon followers following me every moment of my existance for who knows how many years now. Get a life and become someone.

What, you think your the ones keeping everything together right? Your managing expectations right? stuuuuu-piiiiiiiid.  You guys think everybody's relying on a bunch of hateful demonic idiots thinking all humans should think the same, right?  Stupid. That’s all I can say. Seriously stupid.  You have no idea as to what your really doing.  Not everybody is like you. Not everybody has the same non-thinking mind. Only stupid, narcissistic, petty crazy people think everyone else should think and be like them.  Anyway, I had to go through my experiences to learn but the wiser ones will learn listening to stories like this while sort of living vicariously through other peoples experiences. And the only thing that’s common amongst us all is going back home. 

Just as Ram Dass once said, “were all just walking each other home,” and my home is in my heart.  I’m happy with my home because I made sure I stopped getting the same feelings female pornstars get doing their first video. They guienuely don't want to continue while the damaging photographers say, “don't worry, you'll get used to it, just keep it going.” They encourage her to lose the original feelings which naturally come to her. They encourage her to lose the original feelings meant to guide her in the right direction. They want her to lose her real self. Lose the first feelings that came to her if even for a second. So I very clearly and absolutely know the difference between what’s right and what’s wrong for myself and the whole country can stop being ignorant self imposed moral rent-a-cops following me. You people need to trust everybody knows the difference between what’s right and what’s wrong for themselves and stop creating your stupid war.  You stupid simpletons are bringing nothing but chaos into this city and world.  Live and let live. Let people be who they are, however they need to get there-as long as it's not doing anything to you.

If I didn't go through everything I've gone through, I wouldn't be able to give you the ultimate business card. You guys are seriously crazy. Truly insane with zero experience in life. Is everyone having fun with their marketing campaigns trying to capitalize? Are you guys having fun with your little camera birds. I mean what’s the point of the camera bird at 3 o'clock in the morning when I’m in the cemetery a block from my house staring at stars. And then because I’m relaxing taking too long to go home, you start getting pissed thinking I’m the one wasting your time and start yelling at me. What. Is. In. Your. Head? What are you doing? Get a life. You guys are seriously such losers. 

I've known all about the eye the whole time. Is that everybodys contribution in doing good for the world? You guys are doing so much good for the world by helping your 'dog' right. Seriousely, ask yourself, what good do you really think your doing. You don't need to know if I’m sorry about what I did years ago. And if thats your concern out of the billions of different things to be concerned with, then your just stupid. You shouldn't have interest and talk about other people because what you  know about them is less than even one percent. How much of a petty pedantic can you all be? I have more potential than all of you stupid simpletons put together.You need to worry about yourselves. Don't watch me, watch yourselves. The worst part is older people are following me. I’m talking fully grown adults. Dummied out-demon-dorks. And many of them. You would think only kids because they're kids just having fun but adults, come on, I seriously feel really sorry for you guys. I get you have nothing better to do with your time but still, you should have a little more understanding and wisdom by now. This is what gets you excited in life? What do you really think your accomplishing? I've been called a prophet before. Imagine bothering a prophet in the old days. He ovbiousely wouldn't have accomplished his profound writings if all you stupid super-simpletons bothered him like your bothering me. You guys are holding back a prophet who just wants to work in his cave/room. Your holding the whole world back being so stupid by preventing a prophet from doing his work. My work is to better the world and preventing me from doing it means your preventing the whole world from progression. Unbelievably stupid. Terribly stupid.  

I mean all the really bad things happening in the world and you all are concerned with someone who has potential to make a difference with all the grand ideas he has. Then you decide to make yourselves hurdles to the world being a better place by blocking him and his ideas. My talent is being destroyed cause I can’t finish my projects with everybody trying to mess with me 24 hours a day slamming your robot birds into my windows waking me up and interupting my meditation and writings. All day long I get stares and shouts from cars but none of you bafoon goons have ever said anything to my face. And we both know why. You know what would happen after. That's why everybodys too scared to say something to my face. At most they'll say, "you're lucky", from far away, but no, I'm not lucky, you're just a dummy and everything is just taking me ten times longer to do and my health is just decreasing while you guys are like little pesty mosquitos biting me every minute so I can't access deeper states. How can I focus and concentrate with all you sadists, or do you not realize yet what you’re really doing? I mean I could easily skip town and get another job somewhere but I’m not going to do that because there’s no need for me to throw on a backpack and disappear just because you guys are crazy stupid jealous haters wanting whats on my mind. And I could easily buy a GPS locater, drive around where there’s no signals, locate the GPS, throw it away and leave. 

But I’m not running because I don't need to run and there’s no reason to run, so the question is, what are you really chasing after. Is it your own demons? Does bothering me make you feel better about your own issues you know you have to deal with but probablly aren't doing a great job at? You just need to become more aware of what you’re doing, the damage you’re doing, and the negative affect your having on everything else thats connected to all this. I mean a part of me doesn't even want to live in this world anymore because of all the hate. I mean are you all really seeing yourselves for what you’re doing? To me this is all absolutely crazy. Complete nonsense. I really don't know what you guys think you’re doing because if I really wanted get another sex-worker, I would, its legal in vegas. Of course I'm not doing that again but you guys shouldn't care at all about what others are doing unless it’s hurting you or someones getting killed or whatever. 

So because somethings off within you and you like to be hurtful running over pigeons killing them in front of me, hurting and torturing cats and squirrels in front of me, try leaving the church and seeing a psychologist or taking a metaphysical yoga class or something. And that’s how the church can be reformed because I promise you guys, not one guy that’s followed me goes to yoga studio. Someone who practices yoga would never do any of the things you all are doing. It’s all church goers and now the wannabe church goers are also tagging along trying to be part of something bigger than themselves when they've got no idea as to what’s really happening or what any of this really means. So go to Dahn yoga or Moksha yoga and take a theoretical class so you can learn about what I’m trying to say. 

Chapter 6. Bold ideas. 

I mean I applaud you for at least trying to talk about something bigger, like me instead of sports or the weather. And because I realize people don't like silence and are afraid of it, I have to do damage control and speak my mind. Not for myself because I’m at peace with myself living in a relatively inner blissful state even with all the negative commotion. I have to do damage control for innocent people feeling like they're being yelled at on the bus when really the yelling was for me. I see the separation you guys are causing and all I do is pass out a business card. You guys are all going crazy and I’m chilling smoking cigarettes keeping to myself. I know the inspiration I give and the catalyst I am to people I give my card too, and if you guys want to demolish that and cause the opposite reaction by deadening everyone after I made them feel alive, then that’s your choice to ruin the thoughts and feelings I set them on a track with. So, the questing really is, what are you guys doing? Do you guys really think you can stop anyone from doing what they wanna do because you don't feel they should do it? Try thinking once in a while. Reality is variety. Who do you think you are to not accept reality as it is? 

So don't think you were put here to keep the control. In no way are you guys in control. And stop saying "go home" to me. You’re not at "home" either. And if your not at home, you can't tell me to go home. Plus, not only was I the one who told you to go home first, but I also told you where home is by pointed the way. And now everybody wan't to repeat the same thing back to me like the little stupid kid they are. And that's another reason I never wanted to teach with followers, I don't like babysitting bafoons. I made my decision long ago to be a teacher just by passing out my card instead of going home. In other words, do you remember what I taught you when I explained how we're all equal; well, I’m just as selfish as you are because were both still here instead of going home. I’m at least trying to teach when you guys are out wasting time slowely killing a mad monk wanabe whos only here for you. Stupid. Neither one of us made the decision to go back home and so we're both equal in this non-monk world. And on top of all that, I've already been a monk and gained mastery of self-control. I've developed the right habit. Not one of you have developed your own habits to the extent I have. 

I guarantee you all fall much more with your specific challange/sin than I do with mine. So what’s this following really about? Obviously it’s about feeling better about yourselves and boosting your own insecurities by putting someone down. Someone said to me I’m done, no, I’m not done. My business card represents the eternal truth and everybody needs to see it. My card is the perennial philosophy and I won’t stop passing it out until I’m dead. So if the couple thousand dummest simpleton robots in the city think I’m going to leave a city of 10 million that haven't seen the card, then you dum demon minions got another thing coming because I’m staying here either until everyone sees the card, or I marry. So all this hating on someone else is really about you hating yourself for not having your own self-control with what your supposed to become better at within yourselves. You're miserable. I've already past all my tests through reincarnated lives. Thats why I'm so smart now. I've evolved from thousands of years and you dummies are failing your test miserably by slowely killing me this whole time.  

This following is just to make yourselves feel better about the sink scum you know you are; plain and simple. It’s time to learn acceptance and understanding by sitting with stuff for a while. Being so quick to judge others without knowing anywhere close to the whole story is seriously nuts. One of the many definitions of being truly crazy. I mean do you all want my whole story. Should I tell everyone every detail as to why I am the way I am? Should I say everything that happened to me in my past? Is that what everybody wants even though not one of you came up to me to ask me anything or converse? Not one of you wanted to communicate with me. And the ones that almost tried to communicate did so in weird indirect ways like they're giving me some piece of knowledge and advice I didn't already know or couldnt already think of. I’m not being pompous or conceited but I've already thought of everything any one of you could possibly think of. It’s not cocky, just honest. And I know nobody likes a know it all, but I am a know it all and I'm ok with dum dorks not liking me because I didn't like you first. And I couldn't care less if you like me because I already know I’m a hundred times cooler, smarter, and cleaner than any of you haters. I mean the comments from everyone on the street just need to stop even though I block most of them out. It's just the same stupid thoughtless hateful comments all day long. Do any of you have any subtlety. Do any of you have any creativity? 

Plus, when I’m out and about, it’s like I don't know who I’m supposed to be myself with. I don't know who I’m supposed to talk to. I don't know who I’m supposed to be cool with because if your following me with all this negativity, then I obviously can’t be cool with you. And I’m sick of playing the game of guess who's cool and guess who's stalking me. I’m sick of almost getting in multiple fights every single day. I already know you're all cool in your own little way. I mean it’s not that your stupid or anything, your just being stupid with this whole following thing judging too fast. Think before you act. Most of you never really even read the card and instead just heard from someone else about how terrible I am while jumping along the bandwagon without thinking about anything. Without thinking about your actions and implications and all the damage you’re doing being anxious and hateful over nothing. I mean I go to the subway station just to have some peace and quiet from you dummies and I hear, he needs help. No, I don't need help, I need peace and quiet. Everyone just keeps on assuming. Think straight for once. Think before you speak. Think before you do. The energy and resources you guys have put into this unbelievably asinine operation over one guy by jumping to conclusions and assuming is ridiculous. It’s seriously so bad it makes me sad. The energy could've gone towards much better and more productive outlets. And don't kid yourself and think for one second your operations are in 'control' or if you disbanded 'operations' that’s when things will get out of hand and I won’t be safe. I already know what's in every one of your miniscule minds. 

None of you demon-dummies in charge are protecting me by having control over the rest of the minions. Disband your operations and I’ll take my chances all by myself. I’m ready for a fist fight, a gun fight, or even a coward shot to the back because I know where I’m going after death. You guys need to change the operation towards sources of real evil. Like here’s an idea. Since you guys want to take the aggressions you have for yourself out on others, how about you do something much more positive since you like taking things too far. I mean hopefully your learning something about yourselves but how about you guys start following the real bad guys out there. 

By the way, I have to give my props to the cops. Most cops are good people with good intentions, it’s just a few bad apples that give the whole force a bad name. As a matter of fact, besides going home and becoming a monk or nun, a cop has the single hardest, most important job in this non-monk world, and because it’s the most dangerous, they should be paid a higher salary than any other profession. I feel bad for all the rats they have to deal with even though they're really not rats. The rats just know they're right with many other things and so it's sort of natural but stupid for them to assume they're right when it comes to the fewer things they're actually wrong about, like defunding the police.

One guy said to me, 'it’s time to come over to the other side'. Like start going to church and be a part of a community. No, I will not. Firstly, I am the church. And secondly, how can there be community when there’s not even such thing as a friend. But is this guy kidding me talking about the other side? Are we all not on the same side? Is there not only one side? Have you not read my card and understood what is so clearly visible. I say, 'minus monks, were all just genius justifiers'. That poem has many meanings. One is, WERE ALL EQUALL BECAUSE WE ALL SIN, except for monks and nuns that is. They live in perfection and are always obeying their higher self because there’s no temptation amongst that lifestyle. 

So, there’s only two sides, monks and nuns who are better than the rest of the world, and the rest of the world in sin. So we're all equal out here continuing to fail. We try our best but were all bound to fail again and again with various challenges and so the only other side to cross over to is the secluded side with monks and nuns. Out here, we're all brothers and sisters in one big sinning family. So don't tell me to come over to the other side. We are the same. Please read my business card again. And again. And again.

Then wake up and ask your other demon minion friends following me what good can possibly come out of their operation becasue I don't have any more patients with these dummies almost getting in a car accident a half a dozen times a day. I've already tempted everyone and brought out their evil potential just so everyone can excercise self-control when it pops up in the future. And I hope the low percentage of smart people that understand everything I’m saying won’t be afraid to tell you, you’re just a bully disrupting mid-terms of the master thesis class. Luckily I’m the professor and the principal though. And I understand why your bullies. I had the same kind of hate towards pedophiles and rapists when I was young and dumb. And that hate helped me find my passions even though passions aren't really good anyway, but that’s a different topic. So, now I just have compassion for pedophiles and rapists because I understand they were molested as a child and so it’s hard for them to change depending on how traumatic their personal experiences was. I'm not mad at any of them anymore but most deserve life as thats the best way the cyclical cycle of sexual abuse can be cut off and stopped for good.

It’s like the song goes, 'all we ever do, is all we ever knew'. Meaning, it’s hard to break the cycle with any sin challenge you've been given through your childhood circumstances. And speaking of childhood, getting back to a previous point since I veered off topic again with bold ideas. Since you guys love following me so much, how about you guys follow me into grocery stores since there’s always plenty following me into them now. I’ll walk up to little kids with a quick wink of an eye to their parent, drop to a knee and say, "hi, is anybody doing anything bad to you down there?" 

Now I know people are going to take out their gun and shoot me on the spot, but that’s where you guys come in and prevent that from happening. Because all I’m trying to do is give an opportunity to a possibly sexually abused victim since I know about the whole 'never tell anyone' concept that’s manipulated and engrained in these kids heads. So if a stranger out of nowhere in a comfortable place gives them a window of opportunity to come out and express their possible true feelings of discomfort and disgust, then even the response from their facial expression can be recorded and they can be saved from their torture. And if nothing’s happening to them, they'll say "no" and their parent shouldn't have anything to worry about because im just asking a very appropriate and important question. 

People should understand what I’m trying to do. I'm just trying to give a possibly sexually abused kid just one moment of true freedom. How’s that idea boys? I'll sacrafice and put my life on the line if you guys want to continue being killers. This time instead of killing me, you can kill a parent at the grocery store before they kill me. Thats a much better idea than hunting someone who's clearly doing more good than you are. I mean I've got tons of bold ideas. And I know you’re not supposed to tell people their stupid, so I won’t, I’ll just show them here with all this knowledge. And I know I shouldn't react to you all calling me those names and I should still have the same feelings of unconditional love for all you dummied out demons just like I did when I gave all my stuff away, but it’s hard not to defend myself even though the guys that call me those names are the biggest ho's, whores, and sluts in their minds when it’s dark under the blankets at night. You give away who you are with just a single word. I know the kind of person you are with just one slight swerve from oncomming traffic into my car lane. I know you've got nothing to say because theres nothing in your head since you dont take the time to think. And for some more in your face type-of-truth; we are all hookers. We all sell something God gave us in exchange for money. We're all selling many qualities God gave us in exchange for money while also failing at our specific sin challenges. 

So if you’re not selling your body, your selling any one of the hundreds of abilities or talents God gave you in exchange for money, all the while sinning and living in the filthy non-monk world.  You're not alwayse obeying living in the clean isolated monk world without temptation. So out here, we're all selling something God gave us for money, all while doing bad things. That’s called selling your soul to the devil. And every one of us in this non-monk world does exactly that. So again, were all equal and were all in the same boat unless you’re a monk or nun. But you guys think your better than me. Don't worry, your time will come and just as fast as you judged me, God will judge you for not letting me self-actualize and do the good I’m supposed to do for mankind. And so the saying goes, "you’re only as good as your weakest link" and these hateful followers in their current state of mind are the weakest link. And just to set everybody straight some more, if you've minded your own business and never bothered me, then I have nothing bad to say back to you because there’s no need to stick up for myself with people that don't have hate and understand. But to the ones who've put me down bothering me in all kinds of different ways trying to kill me slowly every single day with their hate, you guys aren't able to think about or figure out anything I’m saying here. You guys just follow the masses. 

So I’m explaining everything here hoping you can understand. Because the ones who've poisoned my food (along with most of the rest of you) are exactly like the ones who killed Jesus and poisoned Buddha to death. Stupid, dum, demonic, petty, super simpleton, tool, minion, mug, puppet, robot, tools. You guys all have the exact same dumb personality type (the stupidest of all 16), and you give it away so fast and so easy. Maybe I shouldn't say 'stupid' because you didn't kill me, but I’m a lot closer to death because of you idiots. And to those of you that have it backwards, it’s not that I’m going to call the wrong one a name, the wrong one is going to start smack with me first. You guys all want to start some crap and then think I’m the one who's at fault when I defend myself. No. That’s not how it works. I’ll take on the biggest ego. To you, I already know you’re not learning anything I’m saying here. I already know you still won’t understand even when I explain it 15 different ways. You'll think I’m lying and you'll continue spreading the hate and lies still wanting to fight me even after everything I'm saying. People like you, the liars in life, your worse than thieves and cheaters combined. One can always get a replacement for whats been stolen but liars mess with people’s deep common sense. Liars mess with intuition. Liars mess with the knowing in the soul. 

Liars and people who jump to conclusions throw everything off, which paves the way for countless others not making the correct decisions and not taking the path they should've taken. Basically liars throw the whole world out of whack, cause everyone’s mistrust, and make everything confusing for the worse. So, to you liars, the ones who dont wan't to take the time to understand meaning, the ones that will continue following me after all this, to you all, I invite the toughest, craziest, biggest, hardest one of you to my home. We live in the most hardcore city of the most hardcore country in the world. And I will show you who the most hardcore in this city is. You know where I live, you know when I leave, you know when I get home, and you know my routes back and forth. Come by any time of any day. Just ring the doorbell. Even at 3 in the morning. Just say the words 'now is the time' and I’ll know exactly what you mean stupid sir. 

I’ll know the exact specifications of your much needed lobotomy as I still have a couple good fights left in me. And after I slap your face to the ground, I’m going to preach to your unconscious mind until the ambulance transfers your body to the hospital. Then I’ll be your first visitor with a special sermon still preaching to your thick stupid skull. That’s the only way people like you can learn the concepts I’m talking about. First I'll show my dominance physically, then I'll be able to switch your lightbulb on mentally. I’ll show you how God gave it all to me after being good for thousands of years. Because I’m not the one. And on another leval, I am the one if you need me to be the one. And to the rest of you that kept to yourselves with no hate, thank you, you did the right thing and you’re not simpleton robots. You were just curious watching everything unfold. And what I'm saying here just scratches the surface with all the stuff people have done to me. So I’m sorry if you thought I was talking about you whenever I namecalled back in my defense. And if sticking up for myself calling people names after the crap that’s been done to me means I burn my bridges, then know I burn my bridges while I’m still standing on them so people know I’m serious. 

Also, I don't own a home and so I’m homeless. That means you senseless dummies are following around a homeless guy. Do you guys bother other homeless guys just laying around on the streets too? And you guys think I’m the stupid one with everything you’re doing. I mean I feel like I’m in a movie or something. Like this is some kind of weird parallel world. It's like everything you think about me is exactly what I think about you, the only difference is I’m right. And I’ll never stop passing out the business card, so if anyone wants to try to slow me down, stop me or kill me for it, not only will I die a martyr, but you'll be shooting the whole world in the foot without even realizing it simply because you stopped my progression and inhibited my self-actualization which, in actuality, like I said before, is for the benefit of every human being on this planet simply because I've got potential and ideas no one has. 

It just so happens I also have no luck since the world is made of mostly senseless zombies. I died many years ago and now I’m only a vessel who doesn't care for himself anymore. I care for humanity as a whole and so what I do isn't for myself, it’s to help and serve others simply by teaching the only thing to be taught, the most important thing to be taught, the most powerful thing to be taught, which is what’s printed on my business card. In other words, I teach the ultimate simply by passing out one card and never needed to teach anything more as a detailed description of my card can be found on google under spirituality or whatever. Google is the last and greatest guru since you can find any and all types of information on the web. So there’s no real need for me to explain anything further than what’s written on the card, except for when it’s to stop the stupid war created by the dum demons. And if you all wan't to make it an actual war, I'll revert back to gangbanging and do real drive byes since I have most of your plates and info. But if anyone wants any details or added explanations to the card, they can research it themselves while I continue doing what I need to do. So don't think your breaking me because I’ll hang myself before I break from you guys and go crazy. I’m not screaming inside, you guys are screaming inside. I've only screamed a few key times throughout the past year, and for good reason. 

And there’s a world of difference between suicides of hardship or depression, and suicides from not wanting to be associated with the hate and filth of your demonic brothers and sisters. The former is a suicide for the wrong reasons but the latter is a suicide for the most noble of reasons. Your trying to grow hate inside me. Your trying to slowly change me for the worse. I am becoming an actual mad monk and I’m ok with the changes because it’s better than what the other greats have gone through in terms of persecution. I mean you guys clearly don't understand simple concepts and ideas like progression. So maybe it’s time to sit down and do some deep introspection for once and let the city and rest of the country heal. 

Let me continue on with my aspirations and passions. I mean I can keep talking like this for days straight but I’m done now. I’ll leave everybody with the same quote I said twice already. And I never repeat myself, but to stop the judging and jumping to conclusions, Earnest Hemingway said, "as far as I know, if you do something and it’s feels bad, it’s bad, and if you do something and it doesn't feel bad, it’s not bad."  I've always liked challenging people so they can start to think outside the box and open up their creative outlet channels. I’m not sure if any of that happened here since only you'll be able to tell but it should be plain to see I just want a regular life. I’m a regular person no different than you because we both do bad destructive things to ourselves and the world. And I don't care one bit about what anyone thinks about me because they know nothing about me. I know myself, I’m happy with myself, and i don't care what a dumb demon robot dork thinks about me. 

Also, I don't care about all the name calling and negativity because none of it's true. I just don't like being disturbed and losing my thought process, focus, and concentration as I'm trying to access higher realities with more bigger ideas. I mean you think my life’s over because you see me laying around apparently doing nothing but you couldn't be farther from the truth. I have no depression within myself. I've been lying around relaxing on park benches for many, many years. I've been sitting at the bus stop for over 30 years. What, you all watch a documentary on mystics and put me in the same box. I’m not like any of them. I’m a different kind of mystic, the most intensely hardcore mystic there ever was. 

And just so there’s more clarity, nothing’s happening to me. There is no hard break happening within me. There is no hard fall, everyone is disillusioned with everything. I've had all these viewpoints and intentions ever since I passed out my very first business card, which is to teach only using my card while working a normal job because I’m just like any of you. Even if you guys wanted to buy land around here and have a community type of thing, I wouldn't be part of it. Although I am thinking of joining one if all this absurdity doesn’t stop. Because I’m not supposed to be having trouble actualizing my ideas when no one else even has ideas. But if you guys keep up with all the irrational following, then there’s got to be someone out there who understands what I’m talking about here because I’m waay too old for this stuff. 

I already said I have nothing to hide and gave your spy girl my name and number in front of the theater. I mean I’m just waiting for people to chill out and realize what’s really happening here. I've been riding this thing out for each one of the 10 million people in this city to play all there stupid little games and tests they have for me to see how I’m going to react but now I have to put an end to all this nonsense only because it’s annoying and disruptive to what I really need to attend my mind to. So don't kid yourself and think everyone’s relying on you guys to keep everything together because you dumb demons are the ones creating the chaos. Your becoming crazy monsters and villains. I mean the whole range of human emotions and you all operate off anger, which takes only 1 second to generate. I guarantee not one of you have spent the 12 seconds to generate reverence let alone any other positive emotion. But your keeping everything together right? Stupid. Nothing but extreme stupidity from a bunch of hateful demon dummie dorks. I mean I don't say anything to anyone or even look at anyone anymore because I already know your part of this world of filth being nowhere near the status of a monk or nun. 

I like being private but you guys are forcing me to go public just so the stress your causing yourself following me is taken away. And just so everybody knows, the sex trafficking industry easily makes more money than you can imagine and you’re not putting even a slight scratch let alone a dent to stop trafficking by watching me. I know I can’t prove that with statistics but some things you just know, and that, because it involves sex, I know. You've got no clue as to how organized and discreet these guys are. I mean statistically speaking, someone you know and speak to on a daily basis is a pedophile, and just going off that I can say half of all the guys you see on a daily basis pay for sex and you'll never know about it. You wouldn't believe how many people have come up to me thanking me. I know everybody knows me and there’s only one thing their thanking me for. Their thanking me for showing them just how stupid and crazy a bunch of dum dummies can be. So don't kid yourself thinking it’s not that common because it happens every day, all day long. 

I've talked to enough people living in six out of seven continents to know what’s happening. So get your head out from under the ground. Grow up and stop being naive because if your wanting me to say sorry, then you should want half the people you look at to say sorry too, but no, you’re concerned with just one person. I mean I'm trying to increase awareness amongst people who aren't connecting the dots to form the big picture. You guys see 2 dots, my business card and my arrest record, and with those 2 dots, you think you've got it figured out with all your assanine operations following me. They told me to join the United Nations and I refused. Now you petty pedantics think your accomplishing something in life by following me. Nothing but pathetic. I've been called a saint. Iv'e been called a messiah. And I don't like using this word but this is all nothing but pathetic. I could say everything I’m saying here in a really nice way, but again, I don't care for followers, so I don't need to sugar coat anything to get you guys to be my followers on here. I’m speaking straight from the heart. 

Any of you see the super bowl commercial? A see-through semi-truck riding the streets with sex slaves inside. So run along and figure out how you can really make a difference and impact this world instead of being so stupid following me. I mean I can’t even be nice to any of my neighbors cause I don't know who's got hate for me and who doesn't. Who I should be nice to and who I shouldn't. Who I can be myself to and who I shouldn't. You guys are just dumb. What can I say. You make me cringe. I can’t believe dumb demons like you even exist. Jesus would’ve done so many more miracles if it weren’t for Pontius Pilot and his pathetic demonic operation killing Jesus. Just like the song goes, "dont the best of them bleed it out, while the rest of them figure out". And it’s not that I’m smug or whatever, you just decided I’m smug without ever trying to talk to me. Just another stupid conclusion you jumped too. And I guarantee you guys will get bored before I get stressed and leave this city. And even though I go by worlds, you’re lucky I was born in your city. You’re lucky I’m from here and you’re lucky I’m here now. Your lucky after 25 years of travelling, I've decided to stop and settle. Anyway, I’m done. Hopefully someone will have learned and grown to understand some things and have gotten something over this whole crazy experience so we can all try to have a win win situation for everyone. But if you guys want to keep being annoying embarrassing yourselves like fools with your wrong perspectives following me, then it's time for me to leave this whole idiot-ocracy.

I seriously feel amazed almost every day thinking about how God would put people like me and Jesus out here with all these clowns. And another thing, even though I have a college degree, jobs like unloading trucks and a few others are the best jobs in the world because your feeding 3 birds with one scone. Not only are you getting paid, but you’re getting physical exercise, and you can meditate or pray while you’re working. It’s like the song that goes, "no my mind is not for rent."  So if I want to be a dishwasher, I’m going to be a dishwasher. By the way, you dumb demon minions are what got me fired from my job washing dishes and that was the best job I ever had. Then almost every dishwashing employer on my app gave me a two star rating so I wouldnt come back there just because they're also brainwashed and manuipulated by this whole thing. But I honestly feel sorry for you guys though. I really do. Your all just dorks; always wanting to start stuff because you know your not nearly as smart and as cool. All day long I have to deal with the dumbest of the dumbest everywhere I go. There was just too much hate and namecalling every time I came up to take the dishes down. Did the simpleton snakes have fun being simple-minded talking about other people in the snake den? It's ok though, I don’t need to work anyway because I’m pretty much retired if you all haven't figured that one out yet. I just work for cigarettes and I like playing with water. And what I do workwise doesn't define me anyway. I just like monotonous physical labor. But nobody better come visit me at any of my future jobs because I've had it. Ive broken many times over all ten commandments and I'll break them all again if I have to. This is just a glimpse of my past. One last thing, doing the things I need to do are obviously harder when you jump a drunk guy and knock out his teeth, not to mention stealing my glasses, stealing my silver pendant owl, giving me a deep scar and breaking my nose, which by the way not one of you stopped and asked me if I was ok walking around downtown with blood all over my face. But almost every day I hear, 'he needs help', 'he needs help'. 

Well, why didn't you help me then? And if you really want to help me, just leave me alone and let me do what I do unless you wanna sing or make music with me. And I couldn't care less for fame, so stop having 4 cars following each other 1 foot away every time I go to the front room and lay down on the couch. I know you guys are watching me from inside my house with your camera bugs, I hear you guys all the time. I hear all the dummies drive by every time I go to watch tv. The lady at the phone store was right, something is wrong. Everything you guys are doing is wrong. The world deserves to have my ideas activated immediately. Yet you idiots are holding me down. And stop making cross signs on your chest when you all do your creeper drive byes. Pray for things that need to be prayed for. Dont pray for me. I don't need your prayers. You people are making me want to get an upside down cross tattoo on my forehead representative of never choosing a religion and instead always following the main ideals, concepts, etc. behind all religions. But I think I handled this whole situation pretty well turning my back to you all so I don't go crazy. Yea I’d rather stare into dumpsters and garbage cans on the street for hours instead of looking at any stupid demonic haters inside cars following me. Also, I’m finally looking to get married. My only requirement is she needs to have an athletic body type. I always have the best connection with muscular figured women and I guarantee you've never had a connection with anyone the way you will with me. I don't care about looks at all since I know my love will grow with any girl I choose.  I mean every girl is cute, or can become cute because we all have redeeming qualities which enhance looks. Bonus points if you look like my mom though, chiseled face, I'm talking high cheek bones, indented cheeks, and a jawline, or if your tall or white, but none of those qualities are necessary. Just a fit body type (and you don't have to be fit). So send me a picture from your belly button to your knees if you've got a fit figure with protruding quads and I'll know who I'll marry when I see you live. There was a girl I liked once walking her dog by wrigely field last summer but can you imagine how much better the world would be if everyone gave their love to a human instead of a stupid animal, i mean, cutie pitutie. But maybe marrying someone like Jennifer Aniston who can’t have kids just so we can adopt would be great since I’m not too keen on having biological kids, but slightly open. Anyway, to everybody who got plenty of laughs and smiles with all the conversations and pictures of me, I'm thinking of putting my poetry book up for sale on amazon. I just don't know if anybody's ready for it or even deserves it. But to the real adults who minded their own business simply observing, maybe you can take responsibility for your fully grown adult \slash\ kids killing me because I wasted a whole year here already because people don't understand, but if you were just observing without the hate, then you've gotta at least somewhat understand, which means you'll probablly understand my books. And yea I can easily chop this long video up in a dozen or so different videos, clean it up without any namecalling and make money, but I don't need any money from any haters and I want to stop the stupid war they created by just saying everything on my mind all at once to give them what they want immediately. Maybe I'll convert this speech into a book and if enough people buy this book on Amazon, it'll make me believe my other books are ready to be seen. Also another thing, send a check to my place for tickets to the greatest show you'll ever go to. It's a poetry show I'll be doing based off of three unreleased platinum albums worth of lyrics. Everybody knows where I live. You all know my address and so you know where to send the checks to. My debut song is already finished and I'll put that on here somewhere sometime since I’m thee, OG of spirituality. And if you can play or make music on garage band or whatever, I'll pay you to teach me, or we can make platinum albums together because I’ve got lots of lyrics that'll easily win awards. Or I'll do colabs with every and any artist, muscision, rapper whatever. But drop a check into my mailbox for tickets to my first show. I don't know when that'll be but I've been working on the ideas for months now and it won't be like anything anybodys ever experianced. And once I learn music or whatever, I'm not touring because I know what’s going to happen if I tour. Been there done that. I've already lived the life of a rockstar and so I’ll only tour if my wife can sing or play music, and wants to tour too. I can imitate any voice but haven't gotten any lessons. I sang once in the car and I already know im a natural. I probablly just need to get into a recording studio. Record deals with me are off the table since I dont have music yet, but I'll consider lyric-deals in the industry if there are any. And one more thing, don't follow me on here, or buy my books on amazon, or drop off a check if you’ve had any kind of hate in your heart following me this whole time. If you've been creeping around my neighborhood waiting for me to come outside and have a cigarette so you can do whatever it is you think your doing, know that people like you will not be at my show. So send a fifty dollar check with your email address on it and I'll send you further details when the date gets closer. Just know this, I will personally screen every person at the show, and, I’ll be able to tell who you are just by looking at your face. I need no haters money and after I look you up and down just once, I'll know right away if you're getting in or not, unless of course you want to be part of an interactive sacrificial red room specialy dedicated to the pain-inflicting demons you've been.  Peace, love, respect, and accept. Have a good day. My guy once told me when he says, "have a good day" to people, it means "go F yourself." Hahahaha.

Just go on ebay and type in "torn apart lover".